hello. well i was in a rather bad mood earlier, but i worked on a new song and it kind of made me feel better. i already had the chords for hte most part, but tonite i wrote some words to go w/ it. i am hoping my throat will clear up enough that i'll be able to record some demos of my songs.
anywyas, i guess i'll just mention the theme of the new song. basically, i've been thinking lately about stuff, and i have decided that if i really care about somebody, then there can't be any in-between. what i mean is, either you're my friend or my enemy. i'm sick to death of people who think they can pretend to be someone's friend but not actually BE a friend. tha'ts total bull. i do'nt buy into that program. i'd rather have an enemy than a friend who i can't count on. i can't pretend. it has to be all or nothing.
ok, i don't know if this entry will make sense to most people who read it. but, if anyone does read it, i am sure there's somebody out there who knows exactly what i'm talking about.
just a blog of my ramblings. really an on-line journal.
Friday, December 20, 2002
Thursday, December 12, 2002
ok, so i feel like i'm finally rising to the surface after having been underwater for the past month or so. Hm... it so happens it's been exactly one month since my last blogger entry... interesting. Unfortunately, i'm sick. It's because of EECS 470. I feel like i should go to the Fox 2 Problem Solvers and get them to do an expose on this class. I was SO healthy until i took this class. Now i'm probably going to end up w/ pneumonia or something. i suspect it all stems from being too busy working on 470 to do things i used to think were important, you know, like eating and sleeping. my mind is forever scarred from staring at waveforms. i'm not even sure i can UNDERSTAND anything like a trend or idea without being able to see it expressed as a waveform.
i'd like to do an anthropological study on the students of EECS 470 from this past term. we've practically developed a whole new lingo. during the last few weeks, the difference between a "fix" and a "hack" has become firmly crystallized in our minds. we've learned that before you can "fix" something, you first have to "unbreak" it. we've learned that "verilog" is synonymous with "voodoo." we're no longer fully a part of the society in which we used to live, but we've actually created an entire new subculture. think about the things that make up a society or culture. you've got (1) language- we've covered that- it's a subset of English and jibberish including phrases and expressions specialized for talking about the hell that is verilog programming. i cna't even legitimately call it programming. it really is more like voodoo. particularly whne you use these mysterious objects known as a "#1", or more popularly as a "tick SD" or " 'SD ". If you take them all out, oftentimes your code will start working, as if by magic. Then later when it breaks again, putting them back in will magically cause it to work, yet AGAIN. but i digress.... i was talking about the culture of 470.
so, what else do you have? (2) food- well, that one's easy- you've got your vending machine fair, bagels and sandwiches from the cafes, and the occasional TV dinner brought from home. clearly not the type of food eaten by members of american mainstream culture. i think one of my group members subsisted on McD's french fries for the entire term. Peanut M&M's are one of our staples, as well as any beverage containing caffiene. No, actually, i think caffiene itself is probably a staple.
Let's see... how about (3) products & objects created by the society. Well, we don't produce much other than mostly non-functioning Verilog code, and I have to admit that's kind of ethereal. But we do have art- bizarre doodles of ourselves wearing sunglasses, drawings of numerous boxes with lines connecting different symbolic elements... usually these latter images are eventually destroyed or covered in additional lines that cross out everything that was on the drawing. I'm sure some artifacts have survived and are available for study. Also printouts of Alpha-assembly programs with numbers written next to each line. that reminds me, we also have (4) mathematics. the students of 470 have developed our own number system, in which we only count by 4s in Hex. it's actually really easy, just 0, 4, 8, c, 20, 24, 28, 2c... you get the idea. I was confused when i saw on teh calendar that the date today is Dec 12, and not Dec 0xC. what's going on here?
We also have (5) styles of dress and fashion. mainly consisting of Yesterday's Clothes, by which i mean not clothing from "yesteryear," in the sense of being out of style. i mean "the clothes you wore yesterday" because you've been at the Media Union all night and haven't had time to go home and do anything like sleep, shower and put on new clothes. We also have our own (6) customs and norms. Like being polite by offering to get something for others when you make the trek downstairs to Pierpont or to the vending machines. Or the practice of locking a Sun machine about 15 minutes in advance of when you expect one of your group members to arrive at the crowded lab. There is also a strong taboo against making changes to a stable version of the a project without first saving off a backup-copy of the unmodified version. These are just a few examples of our many customs and standards for acceptable behavior. Some things that are not considered acceptable or "normal" behavior in mainstream society are actually considered quite normal among 470 students- things like muttering profanities at the verilog compiler, raising your arms toward the ceiling and yelling "aaaaaagggghhhhhhh" while shaking said arms, getting up to go the bathroom every 20 minutes because you've been sucking down one bottle of Mountain Dew after another for the last 12 hours.
While I'm sure i could go on and on, I think i've presented enough evidence here to merit some type of anthropoligical study. If i were smart enough at this point to change my major to something EASY like Sociology, Psychology or Cultural Anthropology (incidentally, i make no apologies for calling these majors "easy") i woudl seriously consider doing research on this topic and publishing a paper about it. I'd do it anyways, but the more i think about it, returning to such sites as mu3ne or 2nd-floor eecs before the memory of 470 has faded a little more would probably scar me permanently, so i think i'll just let it lie.
i'd like to do an anthropological study on the students of EECS 470 from this past term. we've practically developed a whole new lingo. during the last few weeks, the difference between a "fix" and a "hack" has become firmly crystallized in our minds. we've learned that before you can "fix" something, you first have to "unbreak" it. we've learned that "verilog" is synonymous with "voodoo." we're no longer fully a part of the society in which we used to live, but we've actually created an entire new subculture. think about the things that make up a society or culture. you've got (1) language- we've covered that- it's a subset of English and jibberish including phrases and expressions specialized for talking about the hell that is verilog programming. i cna't even legitimately call it programming. it really is more like voodoo. particularly whne you use these mysterious objects known as a "#1", or more popularly as a "tick SD" or " 'SD ". If you take them all out, oftentimes your code will start working, as if by magic. Then later when it breaks again, putting them back in will magically cause it to work, yet AGAIN. but i digress.... i was talking about the culture of 470.
so, what else do you have? (2) food- well, that one's easy- you've got your vending machine fair, bagels and sandwiches from the cafes, and the occasional TV dinner brought from home. clearly not the type of food eaten by members of american mainstream culture. i think one of my group members subsisted on McD's french fries for the entire term. Peanut M&M's are one of our staples, as well as any beverage containing caffiene. No, actually, i think caffiene itself is probably a staple.
Let's see... how about (3) products & objects created by the society. Well, we don't produce much other than mostly non-functioning Verilog code, and I have to admit that's kind of ethereal. But we do have art- bizarre doodles of ourselves wearing sunglasses, drawings of numerous boxes with lines connecting different symbolic elements... usually these latter images are eventually destroyed or covered in additional lines that cross out everything that was on the drawing. I'm sure some artifacts have survived and are available for study. Also printouts of Alpha-assembly programs with numbers written next to each line. that reminds me, we also have (4) mathematics. the students of 470 have developed our own number system, in which we only count by 4s in Hex. it's actually really easy, just 0, 4, 8, c, 20, 24, 28, 2c... you get the idea. I was confused when i saw on teh calendar that the date today is Dec 12, and not Dec 0xC. what's going on here?
We also have (5) styles of dress and fashion. mainly consisting of Yesterday's Clothes, by which i mean not clothing from "yesteryear," in the sense of being out of style. i mean "the clothes you wore yesterday" because you've been at the Media Union all night and haven't had time to go home and do anything like sleep, shower and put on new clothes. We also have our own (6) customs and norms. Like being polite by offering to get something for others when you make the trek downstairs to Pierpont or to the vending machines. Or the practice of locking a Sun machine about 15 minutes in advance of when you expect one of your group members to arrive at the crowded lab. There is also a strong taboo against making changes to a stable version of the a project without first saving off a backup-copy of the unmodified version. These are just a few examples of our many customs and standards for acceptable behavior. Some things that are not considered acceptable or "normal" behavior in mainstream society are actually considered quite normal among 470 students- things like muttering profanities at the verilog compiler, raising your arms toward the ceiling and yelling "aaaaaagggghhhhhhh" while shaking said arms, getting up to go the bathroom every 20 minutes because you've been sucking down one bottle of Mountain Dew after another for the last 12 hours.
While I'm sure i could go on and on, I think i've presented enough evidence here to merit some type of anthropoligical study. If i were smart enough at this point to change my major to something EASY like Sociology, Psychology or Cultural Anthropology (incidentally, i make no apologies for calling these majors "easy") i woudl seriously consider doing research on this topic and publishing a paper about it. I'd do it anyways, but the more i think about it, returning to such sites as mu3ne or 2nd-floor eecs before the memory of 470 has faded a little more would probably scar me permanently, so i think i'll just let it lie.
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
hi there.
i just wanted to mention the fact that i cut my hair last night. i do that from time to time. i don't have somebody ELSE cut it; i cut it MYSELF. now, certain people have (or, more specifically, a certain person has) asserted that i am a "girly-girl".
i ask you- would a girly-girl cut her own hair? i think NOT.
ok, that's really all i have to say at the moment. i'm in the process of totally revamping my web site. i'm kind of excited about it. at the moment, the new version of hte side resides at http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~lmcwil/tmp/.
i just wanted to mention the fact that i cut my hair last night. i do that from time to time. i don't have somebody ELSE cut it; i cut it MYSELF. now, certain people have (or, more specifically, a certain person has) asserted that i am a "girly-girl".
i ask you- would a girly-girl cut her own hair? i think NOT.
ok, that's really all i have to say at the moment. i'm in the process of totally revamping my web site. i'm kind of excited about it. at the moment, the new version of hte side resides at http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~lmcwil/tmp/.
Thursday, November 07, 2002
well, my last entry didn't work at all. they really should improve the netscape support on this site. sometimes it works, sometimes it doens't. right now i'm at home and i'm only writing in here while i wait for my phone interview w/ Siebel Systems. it's really not supposed to be until another 15 minutes or so. i'm not sure waht to expect. but hopefully they won't ask me all kind of crazy technical questions.
so anyways, there was a point to all this. today when i got home, i noticed a little tiny sign on our front yard. i was thinking "what's the deal?" so before i went up to the house, i went over to take a look. i figure "if somebody's sticking random signs on our lawn, well i oughta do something about it". the sign was so small, in order to read it, i had to walk onto the lawn. it said,
*dramatic pause*
"WARNING: pesticide applied- keep off grass"
or someting to that effect. needless to say, i found it rather ironic, since there was no way for me to READ of this warning w/out walking onto the grass. ok, so that was my little story of the day.
i guess there has been some stuff on my mind but there's no way i'm going to write about it here. i got an email that kind of surprised me today. i wasn't too sure how to react to it. suffice it to say, it kind of bugs me when people say one thing in email but act totally different in real life. i dont' buy into that program. if somebody is sincere, they;d better show it IRL, whatever they say in email. ok, so i'll come down off my soap box now.
in case someone is actually reading this and slowly dying of boredom, i'll stop now.
so anyways, there was a point to all this. today when i got home, i noticed a little tiny sign on our front yard. i was thinking "what's the deal?" so before i went up to the house, i went over to take a look. i figure "if somebody's sticking random signs on our lawn, well i oughta do something about it". the sign was so small, in order to read it, i had to walk onto the lawn. it said,
*dramatic pause*
"WARNING: pesticide applied- keep off grass"
or someting to that effect. needless to say, i found it rather ironic, since there was no way for me to READ of this warning w/out walking onto the grass. ok, so that was my little story of the day.
i guess there has been some stuff on my mind but there's no way i'm going to write about it here. i got an email that kind of surprised me today. i wasn't too sure how to react to it. suffice it to say, it kind of bugs me when people say one thing in email but act totally different in real life. i dont' buy into that program. if somebody is sincere, they;d better show it IRL, whatever they say in email. ok, so i'll come down off my soap box now.
in case someone is actually reading this and slowly dying of boredom, i'll stop now.
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
i don't know if this will work. right now the web form is displaying all screwy. i dunno why- i've used blogger b4 on a Sun using Netscape 4 or whatever.
anyways, i just needed a little breath of air. i'm working on my 470 homework and to be quite honest, i doint really expect to go home tonite. i think this may call for an all-nighter. i don't know what i'll do if the time comes and i am too tired to drive home but i'm too tired to get anything done also.
well i'm trying to DESTRESS so why am i talking about that? enh. there's nothing i can talk about that would make me feel better. well, nothing that i would want anyone to see.
i'm listening to Dido in an attempt to relax. on the bright side, i think the forwarding works for at least some instructions. well, i know it does. it's just that for some reason now my loads and/or stores are screwed up. the code i added shouldn't have screwed that up.
i feel kind of sick to my stomach and i haven't really eaten a lot these past few days. there has been only one bright spot in my last 3 days and that's what i'm NOT going to talk about.
heh heh but i am smiling now so i guess this little exercise has done me SOME good, right? i feel bad because colette is coming to the study tonite but i won't be there. i miss her so much. i guess i probably saw her like a few weeks ago or something, but it feels like 4ever. actually, come to tghink of it it feels like forever since i started doing this homework problem. i think i'm a different person than i was when i started.
writing always seems to help me feel better. i just hope this stupid weblog actually WORKS. but even if it doesn't, i still think writing in here has helped me to feel a little better.
til next time.
anyways, i just needed a little breath of air. i'm working on my 470 homework and to be quite honest, i doint really expect to go home tonite. i think this may call for an all-nighter. i don't know what i'll do if the time comes and i am too tired to drive home but i'm too tired to get anything done also.
well i'm trying to DESTRESS so why am i talking about that? enh. there's nothing i can talk about that would make me feel better. well, nothing that i would want anyone to see.
i'm listening to Dido in an attempt to relax. on the bright side, i think the forwarding works for at least some instructions. well, i know it does. it's just that for some reason now my loads and/or stores are screwed up. the code i added shouldn't have screwed that up.
i feel kind of sick to my stomach and i haven't really eaten a lot these past few days. there has been only one bright spot in my last 3 days and that's what i'm NOT going to talk about.
heh heh but i am smiling now so i guess this little exercise has done me SOME good, right? i feel bad because colette is coming to the study tonite but i won't be there. i miss her so much. i guess i probably saw her like a few weeks ago or something, but it feels like 4ever. actually, come to tghink of it it feels like forever since i started doing this homework problem. i think i'm a different person than i was when i started.
writing always seems to help me feel better. i just hope this stupid weblog actually WORKS. but even if it doesn't, i still think writing in here has helped me to feel a little better.
til next time.
Monday, October 07, 2002
ok, so i'm sitting at the MU right now thinking I should be working on 470. but it's hard to get started, because they gave us all these scripts and crap but when i tried to run them before, nothing happened. i did what the one guy said on the newsgruop but it didn't do what it was supposed to.
i just had a conversation w/ somebody that i was pretty good friends w/ last year. but now i realize that we never really had a friendship at all. it was all just an illusion. so i basically have a bitter taste in my mouth and i just feel icky. really, i don't know why i let things get to me so much. i have noticed for a long time that i have really high expectations, especially when it comes to people. i keep telling myself i should lower my expectations, but i never do. he said i need to be more patient. well, maybe it's true to some extent. but it doesn't change the fact that i'm bitterly disappointed.
i know later it will fade and not be such a big deal. but the fact is i really care about this person and it's hard for me to believe that i was so wrong about everything. i am just a stupid girl.
i'll get over it. i guess. i'll probaly make the same mistake later.
i just had a conversation w/ somebody that i was pretty good friends w/ last year. but now i realize that we never really had a friendship at all. it was all just an illusion. so i basically have a bitter taste in my mouth and i just feel icky. really, i don't know why i let things get to me so much. i have noticed for a long time that i have really high expectations, especially when it comes to people. i keep telling myself i should lower my expectations, but i never do. he said i need to be more patient. well, maybe it's true to some extent. but it doesn't change the fact that i'm bitterly disappointed.
i know later it will fade and not be such a big deal. but the fact is i really care about this person and it's hard for me to believe that i was so wrong about everything. i am just a stupid girl.
i'll get over it. i guess. i'll probaly make the same mistake later.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
well, it's like 11 or something, and i'm sitting in my room Thursday night listening to Dashboard Confessional burning like 5 candles or something. Man, I wish Beck was here. she would appreciate this. i really miss her. it seems like i haven't talked to her in ages. i've tried to call her a coupla times but haven't been able to get ahold of her. but that's no excuse.
there is a reason why i'm being pathetic right now, but i don't feel like going into it. i don't know if i'll ever feel like going into it. well, if anyone was out there reading this, i'm sure somebody would probably pick up on the reason. it's not particularly hard to guess. enh.. ack bllghgh. this weekend is gonnna suck.
NO. i'm deciding, here and now, that this weekend is NOT going to suck. it will do nohting of the sort. so what if certain people... are going to be far away. no, i'm stopping now. i know this entry is getting all incoherent but i really don't care. but one thing i can say, this weekend is NOT going to suck. i'm going to have fun. and i'm going to finally get some of my crazy 470 homework done. i talked to mike chu today (who was my GSI for 370) and he said this homework we are getting now is the hardest one. which is a relief, because i looked at it all, and i didn't really know what most of the questions were talking about. which is kind of a bad sign. i've been drinking pop in that class to stay awake. there is no way for me to stay awake in that class without caffiene. and it's not even boring, or anytyihg.
ok, i'm done. if i keep things up i'll tell EVERYTHIKNG.
there is a reason why i'm being pathetic right now, but i don't feel like going into it. i don't know if i'll ever feel like going into it. well, if anyone was out there reading this, i'm sure somebody would probably pick up on the reason. it's not particularly hard to guess. enh.. ack bllghgh. this weekend is gonnna suck.
NO. i'm deciding, here and now, that this weekend is NOT going to suck. it will do nohting of the sort. so what if certain people... are going to be far away. no, i'm stopping now. i know this entry is getting all incoherent but i really don't care. but one thing i can say, this weekend is NOT going to suck. i'm going to have fun. and i'm going to finally get some of my crazy 470 homework done. i talked to mike chu today (who was my GSI for 370) and he said this homework we are getting now is the hardest one. which is a relief, because i looked at it all, and i didn't really know what most of the questions were talking about. which is kind of a bad sign. i've been drinking pop in that class to stay awake. there is no way for me to stay awake in that class without caffiene. and it's not even boring, or anytyihg.
ok, i'm done. if i keep things up i'll tell EVERYTHIKNG.
Monday, September 16, 2002
ok, so i basically have no real reason to write in this thing. it's just my writing compulsion, acting up again. there was something i wanted to say earlier, but now i forgot. one of these days i'm going to put a link to this blog on my web page. oh yeah, that reminds me, i have a domain name now. it's http:\\la-dee-dah.com. all the ones i really wanted were already taken. I am thinking of registering LauraMcWilliams.com, too, before some name-stealer snatches it up. it might be nice to have a professional sounding web address when i graduate.
i'm hoping that this web design class will motivate me and give me the knowledge needed to completely revamp my web page. because it's seriously pretty lame. ah well, all in due time. so far, this semester is going pretty well. i like having only 12 credits. I am supposed to start working for this one professor, but his colleague still hasn't emailed me to tell me when we can meet up and they can get me started and what-not. so i'm kind of enh about that.
ok, well i guess that's enough rambling for now. 'til next time.
i'm hoping that this web design class will motivate me and give me the knowledge needed to completely revamp my web page. because it's seriously pretty lame. ah well, all in due time. so far, this semester is going pretty well. i like having only 12 credits. I am supposed to start working for this one professor, but his colleague still hasn't emailed me to tell me when we can meet up and they can get me started and what-not. so i'm kind of enh about that.
ok, well i guess that's enough rambling for now. 'til next time.
Friday, September 13, 2002
well, hunh. i have no particular reason for wanting to write in this thing today, but i just felt like it. i would like to share the fact that Lucida Console is my favorite font. Hopefully that's the font that is showing up right now. There is another cool font called Interdimensional but i don't think it's installed on most people's machines, unfortunately.
I really should redo my web page. I can't work on 470 homework right now, because i do'nt have my book w/ me. there is a reason, but i don't feel like explaining. there is a reason for almost everything, but i seldom feel like explaining it.
Truth be told, for some time i've had this odd premonition that i woudln't live past 21. But, here i am, and i'm already half-way thru the ripe old age of 21 years. So, i guess i can look at it 2 ways- either i'm almost home-free or i haven't got much time left. haha this is probably not the type of thing most people would consider funny. but it amuses me, nonetheless. no, seriously i haven't had that feeling in a long time. really. i plan on living for quite some time longer. actually, i don't plan on ever dying.
I'm really not a morbid person. i don't know what made me bring it up. it's just something that occurred to me this morning. because i hadn't thought of the odd premonition i used to have for a long time. in fact, when i turned 21, the thought didn't even cross my mind. i had completely forgotten about it.
I think i'm going to put some poems up here. actually, i wrote a poem in spanish the other day that i think i'll post. (haha nobody reading this is gonna know spanish, so i guess i'm safe, eh?) here goes nothing:
Poema de Amor
(written in EECS 470 Notebook, Sept 11, 2002)
el amor de mi vida no sabe que yo existo
el amor de mi vida es mas lejos que la luna
sin embargo, su cuerpo es tan cerca, como la esperanza dentro de mi corazon
el amor de mi vida, su alma vive en el rio
-el rio que fluga por la plena de mi cuerpo
sus ojos son claros con la luz de la vida
cuanda se veo, mi cabeza nada en el ocio de su voz
el amor de mi vida, estoy mirando a el siempre
pero todos los dias es como si no viva aqui
nunca me ha veido, nunca me ha querido
cado dia, cada noche me muro un poco mas
el amor de mi vida, no sabe que yo existo
don't even BOTHER trying to figure it out. and DON"T ASK.
I really should redo my web page. I can't work on 470 homework right now, because i do'nt have my book w/ me. there is a reason, but i don't feel like explaining. there is a reason for almost everything, but i seldom feel like explaining it.
Truth be told, for some time i've had this odd premonition that i woudln't live past 21. But, here i am, and i'm already half-way thru the ripe old age of 21 years. So, i guess i can look at it 2 ways- either i'm almost home-free or i haven't got much time left. haha this is probably not the type of thing most people would consider funny. but it amuses me, nonetheless. no, seriously i haven't had that feeling in a long time. really. i plan on living for quite some time longer. actually, i don't plan on ever dying.
I'm really not a morbid person. i don't know what made me bring it up. it's just something that occurred to me this morning. because i hadn't thought of the odd premonition i used to have for a long time. in fact, when i turned 21, the thought didn't even cross my mind. i had completely forgotten about it.
I think i'm going to put some poems up here. actually, i wrote a poem in spanish the other day that i think i'll post. (haha nobody reading this is gonna know spanish, so i guess i'm safe, eh?) here goes nothing:
Poema de Amor
(written in EECS 470 Notebook, Sept 11, 2002)
el amor de mi vida no sabe que yo existo
el amor de mi vida es mas lejos que la luna
sin embargo, su cuerpo es tan cerca, como la esperanza dentro de mi corazon
el amor de mi vida, su alma vive en el rio
-el rio que fluga por la plena de mi cuerpo
sus ojos son claros con la luz de la vida
cuanda se veo, mi cabeza nada en el ocio de su voz
el amor de mi vida, estoy mirando a el siempre
pero todos los dias es como si no viva aqui
nunca me ha veido, nunca me ha querido
cado dia, cada noche me muro un poco mas
el amor de mi vida, no sabe que yo existo
don't even BOTHER trying to figure it out. and DON"T ASK.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
well i'm sitting here in Tech Comm class feeling extremely bored. since i'm learning some html, i guess i oughta start using some tags in here, eh?
i really don't know that much about it, though, i so guess it will be beneficial.
Well, i'll see how that turns out.
i really don't know that much about it, though, i so guess it will be beneficial.
- let's make a list:
- 1
- List element
- 2
- Another list element
Well, i'll see how that turns out.
Thursday, August 29, 2002
i am so dying of boredom right now. ya know, i don't particularly care for the style of this weblog. i'm gonna see what i can do to change it. also, the title majorly needs to change. it was just all i could think of, at the time. further, i wanted to get the word "musings" in there.
so tomorrow's my last day at work. i like my job a lot, but i'm kind of ready to move on. i'm ready to go back to school, but at the same time i'm kind of feeling the old sense of dread as well. you just never know how it's gonna be. i'm feeling really optimistic, though. i'm supposed to be starting this new job for a professor who i had for Operating Systems. that was a great class. i'm kind of intimidated, because i'm sure all the kids on his team are super-smart. i will most likely look like a total doof. of course, that won't be a first for me, so i'm sure i can deal w/ that. i just hope i don't tick people off too much because of not knowing stuff. i don't care if they think i'm stupid or something i just hope they realize i'm capable of learning. i want to learn all this stuff.
there was something else... hmm what was it? ah well. i'll doubtless tell a lot more about school and what not in days to come. oh yeah i'm just wondering how personal i should get in this weblog. i have a feeling most of the people mentioned in here will probably never read it, but nevertheless i didn't want to do a private thing. so i have to be careful. i am thinking it would be nice to use a weblog for my journal, but at the same time i kind of like curling up w/ an actual paper book to write stuff down when i need to vent and what not. so.. i don't know... i'll think about it, i guess.
ok, well this has been a boring installment.
so tomorrow's my last day at work. i like my job a lot, but i'm kind of ready to move on. i'm ready to go back to school, but at the same time i'm kind of feeling the old sense of dread as well. you just never know how it's gonna be. i'm feeling really optimistic, though. i'm supposed to be starting this new job for a professor who i had for Operating Systems. that was a great class. i'm kind of intimidated, because i'm sure all the kids on his team are super-smart. i will most likely look like a total doof. of course, that won't be a first for me, so i'm sure i can deal w/ that. i just hope i don't tick people off too much because of not knowing stuff. i don't care if they think i'm stupid or something i just hope they realize i'm capable of learning. i want to learn all this stuff.
there was something else... hmm what was it? ah well. i'll doubtless tell a lot more about school and what not in days to come. oh yeah i'm just wondering how personal i should get in this weblog. i have a feeling most of the people mentioned in here will probably never read it, but nevertheless i didn't want to do a private thing. so i have to be careful. i am thinking it would be nice to use a weblog for my journal, but at the same time i kind of like curling up w/ an actual paper book to write stuff down when i need to vent and what not. so.. i don't know... i'll think about it, i guess.
ok, well this has been a boring installment.
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
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