I wish I could summon Tupperware the way Ludo, the giant but friendly monster from the 80s movie Labyrinth (starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly), summoned rocks. I would cry out my clarion call, and from the homes of my friends fair and wide, and probably some of my friends' friends' homes, my Tupperware would return to me. I've started writing my name on it but so far it hasn't helped.

In an unrelated sidenote, Gmail is being really retarded today. Their stinkin' servers have been down all morning.