Ok, now that I finally figured out how to get Blogger to display in English instead of Japanese, I have a post. It's actually the text of an email I sent to my brother a week or two ago, and he thought it was funny enough to be blog-worthy, so I've reproduced a slightly edited version of it here:

Somebody call the WAAAAHmbulance (I have to complain)


What is it with my people and stupid emails? I am such a curmudgeon about this sort of thing. Last week, I sent out a short note about a problem I had when I upgraded Lotus Notes (my calendar entries all disappeared), saying "don't bother doing research or anything- I just wanted to check if anyone else in the dept is an early adopter and if so, did you hit this problem") and I get like a reply from half the dept saying "Oh I would never be a early adopter of anything, I just wait until the bugs get worked out" (nevermind the bugs in the craptastic Notes 7, which I've been using forever and KNOW sucks), or "Wow, I can't believe you upgraded early, what a bad idea" type stuff.

Hel-lo-oh! Is that helpful? ...Nooooooo. Did I ask your opinion about the pros/cons of being an "early adopter"? ...Noooooo. Did I ask you "should I upgrade Lotus NOtes?" ...NO! In fact, I ALREADY DID IT so WHY TELL ME THIS NOW? WHY? All your doing is wasting my time by my having to open yet another stupid, unhelpful email, not to mention wasting my time as I get annoying about it it to the point of composing an email complaining about it to my brother, NOT TO MENTION WASTING MY BROTHER'S TIME READING SAID EMAIL OF COMPLAINT.

this type of email response is THE OPPOSITE OF HELPFUL.

I can't decide if these emails are more or less annoying than the other stupid emails some people love to send out. Such as, when I ask one of the non-technical ppl to do something non-technical (which is part of said person's job), and she feels a need to send me 1) a reply, indicating that she's going to do what i asked, 2) an update "I'm doing it now!" and 3) "I finished it!" and when, purely out of recognition that she obviously needs this feedback, i send a one-word reply saying "thanks" she feels it's necessary to email back saying "you're welcome"? I think even the thank-you notes are totally unnecessary. If you ask me a question and I reply back with the answer, you don't need to thank me. The "thank you" that you included at the end of your original mail is sufficient. (THANKS)

But even the totally unnecessary 1- and 2-liners are nowhere near as annoying as the last (and I promise you, this is the last thing I'm going to address) type of annoying email I want to mention.

These are what I like to think of as the "look-at-me-I'm-so-NICE" emails. Whenever somebody in the group is sick or has some personal tragedy which causes him/her to miss work, and hence send an email explaining the absence, to the group, there is always this subset of our dept who, in response, feel the need to make it known to all what KIND, LOVING, THOUGHTFUL people they are. How do they do this? By hitting Reply-to-all when sending a thoughtful, loving message of concern to the aforementioned victim. Is it really necessary to reply-to-all? Do we ALL need to see what a nice person you are? Do you think maybe, just *maybe* your sentiments might be construed as more sincere, if you sent them privately? Or maybe if, *gasp* you took the time to send a hand-written note, or perhaps flowers, or even a phone call- instead of rapidly jotting off an email which you proudly parade in front of the entire department mailing list?

Ok, I'm done, I promise.
It may be the case that I'm actually not *all that* annoyed about this, but was merely using it as an excuse to procrastinate... maybe...

;-)

~L
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Post Script-

1. The Lotus Notes problem resolved itself mysteriously a few days later, when all my calendar entries magically reappeared.
2. I hope no one from my department reads my blog...
3. By the way, they're all wonderful people (really! we just don't always see eye-to-eye about email usage).
4. I (heart) my job.
#####

Things Needed to Ride on South Lamar
(Especially during Rush Hour)

1. Nerves of Steel
2. Either deafness or a willingness to pretend not to hear when motherly pedestrians hiss through their teeth "Too dangerous!" as you ride by.
3. A bike you absolutely can count on.
4. Good health insurance.
5. If you have dependents, good life insurance.
6. Did I mention nerves of steel?
7. An almost 6th sense about where the cars behind you are, since turning around to look could be fatal, and you probably won't have time to check your mirror (if you have one).
8. A certain "devil may care" type of attitude.
9. One of the following: (a) a thrill-seeking personality, (b) a strong sense of necessity (e.g. "my car is broken down and I need to get to the drug store"), (c) an addiction to the ensuing sense of euphoria when you emerge victorious.
10. Did I mention nerves of steel?

This entry is brought to you by, Jet Lag

I've been deeply surprised by the lack of culture shock I feel in Japan. It may be just due to the fact that I'm in Tokyo, which is a major metropolis, and perhaps all huge cosmopolitan cities share certain traits. I don't know. It's true that I do stand out a bit here. And I do feel a certain unconscious and perhaps unjustified affinity with other non-Asian-looking people I see here (in the back of our minds, are we all thinking "I bet that person speaks English..."? Probably not- I'm sure not every foreigner in Tokyo does. But I would venture I'm not the only one thinking it, which is proven by the fact that we gaijin will spontaneously start talking to each other in English, each in the assumption or hope that the other party will understand.)

I was really worried about the food over here, and afraid that I wouldn't want to eat anything, but now I'm thinking I should be more worried about whether or not I'm going to gain a few pounds over here. I suppose it's true that I've been limited somewhat- there are a lot of restaurants I won't go to because they don't have pictures outside or English on the menu. But there are so many other choices that do- it's really not a problem.

Riding the metro trains in Tokyo is just like riding them anywhere else. They have their own different ticketing systems, but it's not unlike navigating the public transit systems of NYC or Paris. Fortunately, most of the signage includes Romaji, in addition to the Japanese script and Kanji. Of course, there's always the fail-safe trick of counting how many stops have been made and getting off at teh appropriate time, which always works, even if you can't read the signs or understand the announcements.

Walking around the city, a certain silence comes over me, an awareness that I'm not sharing in all that's taking part around me. But it's not unlike walking around a city in America by myself. Whether I understand everything that's being said or not, I'm never a part of everything going on around me. And whenever I'm by myself walking around somewhere, a certain silence falls over me.

Like every time I've been overseas, I'm always surprised by the fact that not everyone automatically knows I'm American. So far only one person has asked me if I was. I've spoken in English to locals, Australians, Europeans and an African. I've done a lot of smiling and sort of half-nodding in a non-committal way to things said to me in Japanese. There is a lot that you can communicate using gestures, facial expressions and the like. I have to say, though, if you only were to know one language well, English is probably a good one to know.

I'll try to write another entry (probably tomorrow at some ungodly hour of the morning, if this jet lag doesn't subside) about the Japanese penchant for wasting ridiculous amounts of packaging (the stereotype is 100% true).

Now if I can just remember which of these buttons on the Blogger page is "publish..." (they look a tad different in Japanese...)
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So far, and yet so close

I have this friend who I think is going through a really tough time right now. Actually, I suspect things have been bad for a while, but I think they've probably gotten closer to rock-bottom recently.

I haven't spoken to this person in almost 6 months. We haven't really hung out in much longer than that. We don't know what's going on in each other's lives. We are totally, completely out of touch.

I wish I could say something comforting, or do something kind, but I can't. Nevertheless, I am confident my friend knows that I care. We will always be friends.

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Bad mood/Good mood

last night i was in the blackest mood i'd been in for a long time. i won't go into details; not many people would understand it anyways.

today i went climbing out at Reimer's ranch and I just feel like a whole new person. Being outdoors, seeing the beauty of Jehovah's creation, feeling the good, solid texture of rock under my hands and feet... then swimming in the refreshing waters of the Pedernales river. All the while spending time with 3 of my best friends, plus a cute puppy....

does it get any better?

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The Microwave, and Geek Speak

There are 2 things I wanted to mention today. First off, I sometimes wonder- am I the only person who, oh maybe 1 out of every 4 or 5 times I use the microwave, if I look at the numbers as it's getting close to zero, suddenly pretend it's a time-bomb about to go off and start melodramatically fake-running in slo-mo away from the kitchen...?

Secondly, an interesting phenomenon that I only recently noticed. Computer people almost NEVER use the word "computer" when talking about computers to each other. We have a variety of euphemisms like "machine," "box," "system," etc. In certain instances we may refer to the computer by its canonical hostname (if it's a well-known system), its model or type (e.g. "my G4" or "that T31 over there-"), or even more generic terms that nevertheless are more specific than "computer" (e.g. "my desktop," "his tablet-PC," or "your Mac"). I can't ever remember referring to a computer as a computer unless I was talking to somebody who didn't know anything about computers.

I wonder if this kind of phenomenon is observable in most fields. Like, do chefs never use the word "food"? I imagine that lawn maintenance people might have an entire vocabulary of colorful slang words to describe grass. Maybe accountants never use the word "money" (I bet they don't- they probably have a whole bunch of fancy words).

Cancer

I've been thinking about this awhile, and I decided to finally post something about it. First off, cancer sux. Secondly , I think it epitomizes human physical imperfection.

It strikes indiscriminately. Sure, if you do everything wrong (ie, smoke, drink excessively, sunbathe, etc) you increase your risk. But you can do everything wrong and still not get it. Or you can do everything "right" and get it. Like my aunt. Must be one of the healthiest ppl I know, up until now. Never saw her drink more than a glass of wine in an evening. Never touched a cigarette or any form of recreational drugs in her life. Had a healthful diet, reasonable amount of exercise, rest, etc. Why her?

The answer, of course, is that she's human. Struggling with imperfection like everyone else. I am reminded of Paul's words at Romans 7:14-23, where he talks about his struggle with wrong desires. To me, cancer is like a physical manifestation of that struggle. It's your own body, turned against itself. No matter that 95% of the cells in your body are humming along, minding their own business, working for the greater good, that damn 5% of rebels are screwing everything up for your whole body and making everyone who loves you suffer.

My aunt is closer to me than any other relatives outside my immediate family. She has taught me so many things. She taught me how to play piano, how to read music. She taught me about hospitality, kindness, and love. Now she's teaching me how to suffer selflessly- with dignity and grace. This is not fair. We need the new system, asap.

~L

Texas-isms vs Midwest-isms

Texas	Midwest
y'all	you guys
parking garage (even if the whole building is used only for parking)	parking structure
tea	sweet iced tea
iced tea	sweet iced tea
hot tea	tea
fixin'	(no equivalent)
sliding glass door	door wall
coke	pop
using regular verbs as reflexives	use of the pronoun "myself" where needed
omission of "to be"	use of "to be"
vehicle (with "h" pronounced)	car

Examples

in Texas:
A: "What kind of coke do you want?"
B: "I'll take a 7-Up"

in Michigan:
A: "what kind of pop would you like?"

Commentary: 7-Up is not Coke!! It's not even cola! For people not from the midwest, they wonder what the heck is "pop"?


in Texas:
I'm fixin' to go to bed now

anywhere else:
I'm going to bed now.


in Texas:
That cat's fur needs brushed. (note: real-life example!)
anywhere else:
That cat's fur needs to be brushed.

Commentary: I would imagine leaving out the "to be" is probably grammatically correct in some language (not English)


in Texas:
I'ma drink me a cup of coffee.
I'm finn'ina buy me a new ve-hi-cle.

anywhere else:
I'm going to drink a cup of coffee.
I'm going to buy myself a new car.

Commentary: Do we even have reflexive verbs in English? I wouldn't even know how to explain this if I hadn't studied Spanish.

And 2 drinks later, I start talking about love...

So I've been thinking- I have my own theories about love, and being "in love," as it were. I think I have a right to it by now. Oh yes, I have been "in love." I have felt the incomparable aching of wishing I could give everything to a person, of wishing I could sacrifice all that I am and all I ever could be, for the sake of someone's eternal benefit.

I disagree with the popular portrayal of love in movies, songs and stories. You don't "fall" in love. it doesn't just happen. it's not like it's something that you have no control over. Love is proactive. It takes effort to be in love with someone.

It's a choice that you make. Sure, certain circumstances probably have to be in place in order for you to choose to be in love with someone. Factors such as personality, proximity, physical attractiveness, (body odor?) may come into play. But once those factors are in place you can choose to love someone or not to love someone. You need to have adequate reason to be in love with someone. If you don't, then your love is as fickle and capricious as a passing mood. That's not real love.

It takes me a relatively long time to get to the point where I am able to truly love another person. But it takes even longer for me to stop loving someone once I've started. It takes me 3 times longer to finally be willing to choose to stop loving someone than it takes for me to start.

You'd think I'd learn to hold back more.

Too Funny not to Share

So the other night I had a dream that a new restaurant had opened at a mall in Austin. I'd like to point out that the mall where it was located does not exist in Austin. However, I'm pretty sure it was a replica of a mall I've been to once in Florida.

Anyways, so you know how there are all these (lame) themed restaurants? (I'm about to piss off whoever's reading this that thinks those kind of restaurants are "cool." Well, deal with it! They're lame!!) Anyways, you know what I mean- like Planet Hollywood or Rainforest Cafe.

So.. in the dream, Trent Reznor had opened up a NineInchNails-themed restaurant. Yes, at a mall. Yes, a place where you would go with your parents. Yes, I thought it was odd.

Walking in, it was much like any commercial-oriented, mainstream-type restaurant. Everything was pristine and squeaky-clean. The atmosphere was cold and unwelcoming, but not dark and sinister. Well, maybe a little sinister. The color palette was a pale, sickly yellow, accented with browns, black and various shades of gray. Although I think when we walked in, NIN wasn't actually playing, it was something dark and angry. By the time we left, "Closer," was stuck in my head (and still was when I awoke).

Although the dream ended before I'd actually had anything to eat, I'm sure you can imagine the kinds of things you might find on the menu. "Head like a Hole Filet of Sole," perhaps (kudos to my friend Paul Marsh for that suggestion, when I told him about the dream). My friend August suggested perhaps "Cajun Catfish blackened like your soul." I envisioned a salad carefully placed on the dish in the shape of a downward spiral. The possibility for juvenile puns is endless.

On that (dark?) note, I leave you...

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What's next?

I often feel that I love my friends in Austin too much to ever leave them. But then I remember that I felt the same way (and still do) about my friends in Michigan. And it didn't stop me from leaving them.