Ok, now that I finally figured out how to get Blogger to display in English instead of Japanese, I have a post. It's actually the text of an email I sent to my brother a week or two ago, and he thought it was funny enough to be blog-worthy, so I've reproduced a slightly edited version of it here:

Somebody call the WAAAAHmbulance (I have to complain)


What is it with my people and stupid emails? I am such a curmudgeon about this sort of thing. Last week, I sent out a short note about a problem I had when I upgraded Lotus Notes (my calendar entries all disappeared), saying "don't bother doing research or anything- I just wanted to check if anyone else in the dept is an early adopter and if so, did you hit this problem") and I get like a reply from half the dept saying "Oh I would never be a early adopter of anything, I just wait until the bugs get worked out" (nevermind the bugs in the craptastic Notes 7, which I've been using forever and KNOW sucks), or "Wow, I can't believe you upgraded early, what a bad idea" type stuff.

Hel-lo-oh! Is that helpful? ...Nooooooo. Did I ask your opinion about the pros/cons of being an "early adopter"? ...Noooooo. Did I ask you "should I upgrade Lotus NOtes?" ...NO! In fact, I ALREADY DID IT so WHY TELL ME THIS NOW? WHY? All your doing is wasting my time by my having to open yet another stupid, unhelpful email, not to mention wasting my time as I get annoying about it it to the point of composing an email complaining about it to my brother, NOT TO MENTION WASTING MY BROTHER'S TIME READING SAID EMAIL OF COMPLAINT.

this type of email response is THE OPPOSITE OF HELPFUL.

I can't decide if these emails are more or less annoying than the other stupid emails some people love to send out. Such as, when I ask one of the non-technical ppl to do something non-technical (which is part of said person's job), and she feels a need to send me 1) a reply, indicating that she's going to do what i asked, 2) an update "I'm doing it now!" and 3) "I finished it!" and when, purely out of recognition that she obviously needs this feedback, i send a one-word reply saying "thanks" she feels it's necessary to email back saying "you're welcome"? I think even the thank-you notes are totally unnecessary. If you ask me a question and I reply back with the answer, you don't need to thank me. The "thank you" that you included at the end of your original mail is sufficient. (THANKS)

But even the totally unnecessary 1- and 2-liners are nowhere near as annoying as the last (and I promise you, this is the last thing I'm going to address) type of annoying email I want to mention.

These are what I like to think of as the "look-at-me-I'm-so-NICE" emails. Whenever somebody in the group is sick or has some personal tragedy which causes him/her to miss work, and hence send an email explaining the absence, to the group, there is always this subset of our dept who, in response, feel the need to make it known to all what KIND, LOVING, THOUGHTFUL people they are. How do they do this? By hitting Reply-to-all when sending a thoughtful, loving message of concern to the aforementioned victim. Is it really necessary to reply-to-all? Do we ALL need to see what a nice person you are? Do you think maybe, just *maybe* your sentiments might be construed as more sincere, if you sent them privately? Or maybe if, *gasp* you took the time to send a hand-written note, or perhaps flowers, or even a phone call- instead of rapidly jotting off an email which you proudly parade in front of the entire department mailing list?

Ok, I'm done, I promise.
It may be the case that I'm actually not *all that* annoyed about this, but was merely using it as an excuse to procrastinate... maybe...

;-)

~L
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Post Script-

1. The Lotus Notes problem resolved itself mysteriously a few days later, when all my calendar entries magically reappeared.
2. I hope no one from my department reads my blog...
3. By the way, they're all wonderful people (really! we just don't always see eye-to-eye about email usage).
4. I (heart) my job.
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